Monday, May 19, 2014



I never knew that I was suffering from a very serious condition till I met this friend of mine during the weekend.

He looked at me for a moment and then remarked -

“You look constipated.”

“I just can’t get it out” I said.

“That’s why I said you look constipated. If you are having difficulty you should seriously consider seeing a doctor.”

“What do you mean? I only said I just can’t seem to be able to get it out. Oh s_ _t! You didn’t think it was that?”

“Yes, that’s what I meant” he replied.

I held my head with both hands and looked at him exasperation and nearly screamed at him –

“I meant that I am unable to get all that stuff out of my head. It’s been like that for the last ten days and my head feels like it’s going to burst.”

He looked at me as if in shock and then said “It seems more serious than I thought. You have to see a Neuro immediately. This could potentially be a big problem if not treated in time. Come let us go, I know a good one.”

“What? You must be joking. How do you think a Neuro can be of any help to get me out of this predicament?”

“May be he can just tighten a few screws here and there. You see you can’t have all that s_ _t up there. That’s not where it’s supposed to be, unless you have been doing those Sirsasans more than required. It was when I did not see any of it on your blog for some time now that I knew something was wrong. That’s why I decided to check in on you. I agree the condition is serious. Ok I don’t think that a Neuro is required at all, but I seriously suggest you see a psychiatrist.”

“And how do you think he will be able to help?” I asked.

“Oh don’t worry, maybe he will connect some electrodes on your head and then connect them to a computer to find out all the patterns up there. I think it is possible that he will be able to download it on to your documents file straightaway. I think that should do it and your next post on your blog will be ready.”

That guy really gets on my nerves. One does not really know when he is being serious or when he is joking. I literally ran from there, went home and rushed to the toilet.

Forget all these psychiatrists, all those Neuros, doctors etc., I have found that the best place for introspection is on the toilet seat, that is where you are left undisturbed, the seat of all inspirations.

Maybe it was the Chennai heat that caused all my inspirations to flow out through all that perspiration, added to that my laptop was in its final hours. At present it is in the intensive care unit and is not expected to recover. You see that’s why I am writing this obituary on my good old desktop. Well like I said it is good and old and I do not know how long it will keep me company. Maybe this was also a reason why I could not get all that stuff out.

I know that you may laugh about all that s_ _t that has been written here, but believe me it is a serious matter. I found out that it is known as ‘Writer’s Block’. I wondered whether one has to undergo a bypass surgery to set it right. So like everyone else I googled to find out how serious my condition was but when I went to the Wikipedia page I was overtaken by what I can only term as ‘Reader’s Block’.

So not knowing what to write about, I wrote all this s_ _ t above with an apology to my readers and a sincere thanks if they have read this to the very end. I promise to come back with a bang after all I have been busy watching ‘The Big Bang Theory’ on the television and that’s all I have been doing.


Ravi Easwaran said...

Oh ! S...t

Svaathi said...

Oh S..T !!! so this was it!

Ram said...

Nice fun. It was certainly not lingual diarrhoea !!!

Ravi from Odisha said...

May be this blog had a subliminal trigger! I had to rush .... to that serene place in the entire house!! Now, back to the blog and yes it is good to have some blockages examined...