AUTUMN LEAVES – A REALITY CHECK
It’s been a month since I came here hoping to catch the Fall and relive some of what I had written in my last book especially the changing colors of the leaves. I often go to the balcony to look at the maple trees and all I have seen till date are the green leaves and some brown leaves strewn on the ground. I am still waiting for the color but in all counts, it could take some more time, two weeks I expect. But whenever I go out for a drive during the weekends for that is the only time my daughter finds time to take us out, I carry the camera along in case I sight a few trees heralding the arrival of the fall. It’s happening slowly, and I was able to capture a few spectacular ones, especially in the Forest Park and in the suburbs. Every day when my grandson comes back from school, he digs into his bag and takes out one or two leaves that he had picked up from the ground. They are of different shapes, some dry and some adorned with different shades of red and orange. Then he would proceed to describe whether it was a maple or a sycamore. I wish I could have talked to him while writing my book; I could have embellished it with more color.
Well, the wait continues and so do my hopes that more people find the necessary interest and motivation to get my book and read it. I feel this more and more for I think that this has been my best and most intense effort. But of late this enthusiasm is waning out and slowly it is being replaced by a sense of acceptance that is how it will be. Four months have passed since the book ‘Autumn Leaves – Seasons of Life’ was published. Though my expectations were never high I expected a decent reception as my two previous books though not great successes, they were decent in terms of sales as well as reviews. Social media is the only outlet for self-published authors (a post on which I had written earlier in my blog). The reality is that about 25% percent of the number of friends you have in the virtual world, respond with messages of congratulations and best wishes. Many of them stop with that and the job is done. Lesser people come out with reviews (a review is the most important thing for an author both in terms of exposure as well as well as having a critical look at his own work).
Like waiting for the Autumn Leaves to bloom so also I still wait. I do not want the leaves to turn brown and fall to the ground before that. I call this the reality check. But as the days pass I have slowly started to accept that I write because that is what I want to do and not give much thought whether others are interested or not. But it is a bitter pill to swallow. That is why I have of late stopped posting on my social media pages asking people to buy or write a review. If they do, I accept I will be happy. The reality is that writing books have given me immense satisfaction and taken me through an alternate world through the characters I create. Maybe the next book I write, I will rest content putting it on my blog and not spend my energy and resources in self-publishing. I do not have the marketing skills nor the necessary back up for that. I also resolve not to get carried away by the congratulatory messages and best wishes of friends on social media. I guess everyone has his own priorities and I am sensitive to that.
Meanwhile, I shall continue to share my joy by posting photographs of autumn and its colors. Maybe that shall bring some joy.