MOKSH - MY SALVATION

MOKSH – MY SALVATION

From the quietness of my daughter’s apartment in Saint Louis, back to the heat, and once again the hustle and bustle in Chennai. I am back on my walks now, along the Tiruvanmiyur beach. I had ended my last posting on Salvation which was written nearly five months ago when I went to the US to see and be with my grandson, I had said ‘Maybe Moksh is my salvation’. Moksh is the name of my grandson. Today as I was walking along the beach listening to the strains of MS chanting the Vishnu Sahasranamam, I thought about my grandson and how much I missed the child. My daughters tell me that despite my claims of becoming more detached and moving away, when it comes to them, I can never let go. That is true and now my grandson.

As I open my laptop in the morning I  look at him staring at me through the collage of the photos I have taken of him during my stay there. I have seen him growing up from a month old baby through to his seventh month. It is perhaps the most fascinating period of growth of a child when it slowly feels its way into this world, with each of his senses developing one by one. I have begun to believe that when we are born, it is only with the sixth sense and as the five senses start to manifest themselves, the sixth sense is pushed into the background. It is only when the five senses are brought under control does the sixth sense start emerging once again.

They say that only when a baby starts grabbing at something that it has started understanding this world. Till then it is only hunger that it feels and its mother’s warmth and cries only when hungry or feels pain.

During the six months it was fascinating to see the subtle changes occurring. A day by day change in the face, his attempts to topple over, his attempts to crawl and most of all the smile of recognition and the laughter that would emanate. I have never seen so closely these changes taking place even when my daughters were growing. May be it was because I had all the time in the world now to look after my grandson. I relished the bonding that took place when in an attempt to make him sleep I would put him on my shoulder and would look on with pride, when he did sleep on my shoulders. I guess every grandparent experiences these feelings.

I was happy that I could partake in this phase of life, one seeing the child grow and me growing as a grandparent. When I write, I speak for my wife as well. I could see the same joy in her eyes. She is someone who does not come out openly with what she feels, but I can sense it.

I do not know whether he will remember us the next time we go. The bonding has to start afresh. But I am looking forward to it.

Ramana Maharishi says “A child and a Sage are similar in a way. Incidents interest a child only so long as it lasts. It ceases to think after they have passed away. So then, it is apparent that they do not leave any impression on the child and it is not affected by them mentally. So it is with the Sage.”

So now I can say Moksh is my Salvation.