A LETTER TO GOD

I am reproducing below excerpts from my “A Letter To God”, as the letter itself is too long for my blog. But I have taken care to see that the central theme of the letter is reflected in the paragraphs reproduced.

“Dear God,

I think I can address you like that, as you are dear to everyone. My dear, would sound too possessive. So I will leave it at that. This is the first time I am writing to you and so was at a loss as to how to start the letter. The next is the question why I am doing it. I am not sure why. I have been speaking to you for such a long time but I am not sure you heard me.

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Whenever I faced a crisis, I prayed for a miracle to make things happen. It never did, the way I wanted them. Things took their own course. Sometimes good things happened and most of the time nothing. It looked as though my prayers were never answered by you. Things happened just the way they did. It appeared that even you had no control over the course of my life.

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I still cannot understand why some people are born with everything they want while others in penury. Some live up to a ripe old age while others are cut away in their prime by accidents and terminal diseases. The only answers I get is, that it is destiny and the result of our past karma. Which means, that I shall have to wait for another birth to reap the benefits of the good actions that I have done now. This is not acceptable, as, who is sure of a another birth. I do not know what I did in my previous life, to deserve what I have in this life. May be if I did, I can plan for a future life, by living my present life accordingly. This would only make everybody strive for salvation. As to what is salvation is a another question.

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People tell me “ ask God whatever you want and you will be given that”. Is it so? I believe that my integrity will be at stake if I do such a thing. If you are the all knowing as we believe, then what need is there for me to ask you what I want. You already know the answers. There is something in me which says that there is a good and there is evil. My conscience says be good. But this I guess is relative . what is good for me may not seem so to another. So unless there is a mode of reward and punishment we will never know whether we are on the right path and this has to be in the present. Here I am not talking about the laws made by the human. These are fallible. Your eternal law will have to be effective immediately.

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I am sure that you understand my anguish. After all to whom else can I talk about these things. I am neither an atheist nor an agnostic and will not like to be dubbed as one because I still believe in you. Only I do not understand your game, all that thing about karma and destiny. I have serious doubts about miracles. Like I have now started maintaining that miracles do occur only if they are destined. I am using your words only. I am convinced now that even you are bound by destiny.

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I agree that you give tremendous amount of hope to people who have faith in you. You offer the necessary prop to overcome the hurdles we face in life. But my only grouse is that I am not fully convinced in respect of the disparities in our conditions of existence and the explanations of karma. For me the only reality is the present. By that I mean the present life where I can still remember the past and correct my actions where I have gone wrong before, and to avoid repeating the same mistakes which had brought me pain and sorrow.

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Maybe like Hermann Hesse says” we are a wave that flows to fit whatever form it finds”.

But I believe in you, for without you I am lost. I live in hope, that I shall find the answers someday, with your help. I at least understand now, it is hope that drives us on.

You are a friend, philosopher, guide and GOD.

Yours truly, till I remain,

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