MUSINGS OF A PARENT

Of late I have been blunt in expressing my views to others, especially my own children. I can see the hurt in their eyes sometimes and that saddens me. I am at an age where I find it difficult to make compromises. I have to speak the truth about how I feel about situations, my body language also conveys whether I am comfortable with my surroundings. If it is not, I move away, rather than submit myself to an uneasy atmosphere. I speak because I am concerned, that my children should be able to stand on their own, speak for themselves and realise their intrinsic worth. I am saddened when I watch them not able to stand up for themselves.

Sometimes I wonder whether the mistake is in the way I brought them up, over protective may be. But I am happy that they do have a lot of empathy and take care not to hurt others. This does not mean that they be submissive. 

I have also made compromises in my life just to ensure that my relationships are intact and my family is comfortable. However I was not afraid to to speak for what i believed in, it had cost me promotions in my carrier, but my relationships with the people I was  working with, had always been excellent and of mutual respect. This also applied to relationships outside my work situation

May be I should move away, more into myself, into silence. Then I would be accused of not taking up responsibilities and not participating. Do I really care?

May be it is time for me to move on and leave them to take care of themselves in molding their lives and their relationships. They have to develop their own philosophies, what to believe, what to stand up for and when to be tolerant. Let them own their responsibilities.

The process of growing old has to be accepted and the futility of holding on should be shed. In the present day context, whether your children will look after you when you are old is not a certainty, nor should we expect them to do so. I am sure if we have brought them up with affection without expecting anything from them, but only because we love them, they will develop that empathy which will only help them in molding strong relationships. Let us first learn to live by ourselves. Have’nt we learned enough in the process of our own living, to feel confident that we can carry on by ourselves? After all what do we carry with us when we go. Let us not strangulate our children.

“ Leave them to their own priorities and let them be “. We shall always love them.