This nothingness has been the most dreadful thing that I have come face to face with. What is life if one has to ultimately fade into insignificance. “This encounter with non- existence, this fear of nothingness is an inner condition which provokes the sense of dread and starts the religious quest”, this is what my guide said “ deliverance from the illusions of this world is to be achieved only by facing nothingness and overcoming it”.

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I – REMAIN

I feel a weight,
My footsteps drag,
Slow down in their rhythm,
They stop.
My legs are tied,
I cannot move,
My eyes hurt,
I cannot see,
I feel tired, I sit
Crouched with my headdown;
My limbs feel heavy,
I stay still,
Now a static state,
Nothing but a stone,
But I live.

The fire inside, now
Grown smaller in size
Soon will go.

I hear footsteps in the distance,
They come towards me;
For a minute they stop:
Then move on.
Now all is still,
No more foot steps.

All is dark,
The fire has gone out,
And I feel cold.

Though cold,
In Nothingness I remain,
Waiting for a spark
To light the fire again.