THE DIARY OF MRITYUNJAY-PART TWO- A GLIMPSE

 

THE DIARY OF MRITYUNJAY-PART TWO
A GLIMPSE

With 2024 nearing its end, I am hoping that I will be able to complete Part 2 of ‘The Diary of Mrityunjay’ in 2025 and I hope I shall keep up this resolution, unlike others which have fallen by the wayside. I knew I had a promise to keep- Mrityunjay had given a glimpse of a sequel at the end of the book and this is where I restarted, to maintain the continuity and make it easier for the reader to connect. While I have already posted the Preface on my blog some time ago, I thought I would give a glimpse of a portion of the prologue to create some interest among my readers. I have included some portions from the Epilogue to the first book ‘The Diary of Mrityunjay’ to ensure continuity to Part 2 and help the reader connect.

DIARY OF MRITYUNJAY - PART 2

PROLOGUE

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. –Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities,

They were difficult times. They were testing times. It was surreal; I thought that this was the stuff one reads in books and sees in movies: of future catastrophes and the race to save mankind from decimation.  Decades ago I read Albert Camus’s allegorical novel ‘The Plague’, which tells the story of a plague sweeping the French Algerian city of Oran. It asks a number of questions relating to the nature of destiny and the human condition. A passage from the book reads -

Everybody knows that pestilences have a way of recurring in the world; yet somehow we find it hard to believe in ones that crash down on our heads from a blue sky. There have been as many plagues as wars in history, yet always plagues and wars take people equally by surprise.

My thoughts went back to Mrityunjay and the words from his book The Diary of Mrityunjay resonated -

‘It’s normal to feel ‘fear’. The fear of extinction is very strong. We are afraid that we may be wiped out before our search is over without finding an answer to this riddle called life. The instinct for survival is predominant in all of us and we are always in search of different ways and means to ensure we continue to survive.’

2020 happened leaving behind a deep scar on our collective psyche. I was sure that the long silences of Mrityunjay were because the scar would have further ignited his passion for exploration, understanding the effect of the calamity, and what his role would be in alleviating the misery. That’s how he was.

It was the beginning of a new year; 2022 started off on a more promising note, not that the calamities of 2020 which carried over to 2021 had completely subsided, but there was hope that the worst was over and now there was mobility and the vaccine program seemed to have had considerable effect. Still the more prudent of us did not dispense with the basic rules of social distancing and wearing masks. 

The last time I met Mrityunjay was in November 2019 when he came to Chennai. Thereafter, we did keep in touch through occasional phone calls. But in 2020 and subsequently, there were long periods of silence which soon petered out into no communication. I knew people were picking up the pieces of their life that lay scattered and putting them back together again. 

Through the year 2021, though there were a few calls and emails from him, these soon petered out. I did not hear from him for more than a year. I wondered whether he had once again gone away as was his wont in search of something elusive. I had reckoned that he had settled down to his rediscovered life, but you could not say anything definitive about him, for that was who he was, calm outside but a restless spirit inside.

That’s for now, friends.

WISHING YOU ALL AND YOUR FAMILIES A GREAT, HEALTHY, HAPPY AND FULFILLING 2025

THE ROAD TRAVELED - MILESTONES - A JOURNEY OF LIFE’S LESSONS- PART 7

 

THE ROAD TRAVELED - MILESTONES

A JOURNEY OF LIFE’S LESSONS- PART 7

When I published my first book, ‘I Am Just An Ordinary Man,’ a decade ago,in 2014, it was as if I had foreseen where the path would lead. I think it fit to reproduce here the first few lines of Chapter 3 (Sublimation) of the book-

‘My movements have slowed down over the years. I recognize that. My walks have become shorter in distance and in time. It is normal I guess, as one grows older. But it is when my daughter tells me, “Papa, you have started forgetting things” that I start to ask myself what is wrong. You see I used to be absent-minded before, but that was my normal state and it was accepted as a part of the person I was. But now they think this is serious for they fear I have started suffering memory loss. I was going through what I had written twenty years ago and recalled what my daughter said then, about my being in la la land or in other words in dreamland. Even I had accepted that I was a dreamer. “But wasn’t I always like that?” I asked her. She replied “No, then you consciously avoided remembering things, because you did not pay attention to what was happening around. Now things do not register in your mind even when you are actively there.’

A decade has elapsed since then, and now I find myself again sitting on a milestone staring at the path ahead. It happened then also and I had chosen the path less travelled. I then had the courage and the energy to push forward and explore and find answers which had been eluding me, to the questions which had been pushed to the background.  Though the first stirrings occurred five decades ago when the existential question of ‘Who am I’ arose prompted by the teachings of Ramana Maharishi and perhaps due to my stepping into untested waters after graduation and what lay ahead, I settled slowly into a normal life, a pattern familiar and secured. The questions of identity were pushed aside for I thought I had found mine - a normal man, well settled, married, and a family. Though there were periods of discontent and an evaluation of one’s worth, these were not serious enough to make me deviate from the normal. 

That was the first crossroads I encountered and I chose the well-traveled one. And, after that, it was the straight road I stuck to, pausing here and there at milestones, to gaze at what I had left behind and with it a part of myself. But that was the process of traveling towards goals which appeared to be shifting every time I thought I had reached one. Not that I did not encounter further crossroads, but they were inconsequential given my desire to move ahead and a reluctance to move away from the normal.

It happened in 2010 when the first break from the normal happened when I retired, veering away and rejoicing in newfound freedom, looking ahead at a new normal. But that didn’t happen. Soon, the stirrings that had occurred nearly four decades ago reappeared - the same existential questions. This time I had the choice to explore or continue as I was. And I chose to explore. So I slowly moved away from the milestone where I had rested for a while towards the road less traveled. 

My explorations were translated through my writings, first through my blog and then my books.  That is how my first book happened- an inner exploration and an evaluation of what I was. The first few lines of the book are indicative of the state of my mind -

“Sir, you asked me who I am. What shall I say? I have been

asking myself this question for quite some time and reached

Nowhere.”

‘I Am Just An Ordinary Man’ was a journey to understand the questions that arose out of the angst of existence and finally to accept the reality of living and the finality of death. It was the world as I saw it; it was my world. I also believed that these were questions that plagued every other individual. 

I learned a lot from interacting and observing the world outside my being without being judgmental. ‘Darkness and Beyond- A Medley of Many Lives’ was a journey into the external world, being part of a larger process of experiencing, understanding, and acceptance. Each chapter is a slice of life, in search of a meaning that would define existence; in search of the ‘Beyond’ of this ‘Darkness’. It has been a journey, an exploration of life in its many facets, taking me closer to a better understanding of what this life is all about,  Hope.

An inconsequential meeting with an old man turned into a meaningful relationship. In ‘The Old Man and I – Darkness and Beyond’, the old man accepts his transition through the twilight zone of his life with equanimity, spurred on by the hope that there is after all something beyond this approaching darkness; the dawn of a new life beyond - ‘I do not know what lies beyond, but since light fades into darkness and the darkness melts away with the dawn of a new morning, I believe that there does exist something beyond this darkness and that is the hope I carry with me.’

 

The reality of aging and loneliness is predominant, the younger generation moving still further away and the older ones slowly learning to cope with being by themselves. In ‘Autumn Leaves-Seasons of Life,’ I explored the reality of the disintegration of families from what was once a joint one with a ruling patriarch and the other members strewn around not far away, to single units ultimately spread out in far and distant lands; the slow but perceptible shifting away in distance and relationships and acceptance of which as a reality was unalterable. 

It was then that Mrityunjay happened. I paused between milestones to re-evaluate my life and try to move forward towards resolving the angst that had all the while enveloped me. It was Mrityunjay who taught me,  what it is to live and what it is to love, content in the knowledge that life is not only gathering knowledge of the self but that there is a deeper purpose that embraces humanity and giving back in the form of service, compassion, and empathy. ‘The Diary of Mrityunjay’ is a journey of self-discovery. It was my journey within, that manifested itself in Mrityunjay.

That was four years ago and ever since I have been languishing at a crossroads again. A certain listlessness and inertia had crept in. And now today, as I sit on this milestone contemplating, I have been asked ‘What happened to Mriyunjay?’ by people who have followed my explorations, that it dawned on me that the journey of Mrityunjay had to continue for life with its infinite possibilities never stops and the road never really ends.

I recollect a passage from Will Durant’s book ‘Fallen Leaves’ - “I know that life is in its basis a mystery; a river flowing from an unseen source and in its development an infinite subtlety; a ‘dome of many-colored glass’, too complex for thought, much less for utterance.”