FROM ORDINARY MAN TO MRITYUNJAY
I reproduce here a first selection of passages from my books- a journey of learning, an inquiry into life, and an acceptance of reality. It is through the characters in my books that I have tried to put forward not only my philosophy of life, but also what I have learned through my interactions with people who have been part of the journey. Ultimately the journey of life is one's own and the paths are many, but like the river finally flows into the ocean and merges with it we also merge with the undefined Absolute
“In that slowly descending darkness as the moon ascended and a gentle breeze blew, I found myself enveloped in that stillness and a strange sort of bliss. I let lay the existential dilemmas somewhere within me for the moment and allowed myself to be immersed in that beyond.”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“When you have stripped yourself bare like the trees in the fall season you will be standing totally barren with nothing to hide”
“Learn to listen to the river and flow along with it. Its waters soothe and heal everyone. It does not distinguish between caste, creed, or religion. I have learned a lot from it, for the doctor’s duty is also similar- to soothe, heal without distinction.”
― The Diary of Mrityunjay
“He made me realize that life was not all darkness and that it can be dispelled with the light of hope. I learned the value of faith and loyalty in the conduct of one’s life, for that was how he led his.”
“How can one ever write the story of one’s life when it has not ended? If he does, then it is an incomplete story. But isn’t it a paradox that one has to be alive to write one’s own story, a story which is never complete till he is dead”
“The most important thing I learned from my parents is that there is nothing like sympathy, it is only compassion that one should feel. My parents have given me love and I have understood what compassion is from them. That in the ultimate analysis has made me what I am. I am what I am; there is no other state I can be. There is no question of ‘If’ in my vocabulary. A majority of us spend our time thinking about the choices we have made in life and how things could have been different if we had chosen otherwise. We have made certain choices because they were within our power to do so. When we start thinking that things could have been different and maybe we would have led a better life than our present state, we start feeling unhappy and miserable. We are helpless when we start questioning our origins and why we were not born under more favorable circumstances. We question God and blame him for all the misery that we are undergoing now. There are no answers when someone comes along and says it is due to our Karma and we are atoning for our sins in a previous birth. All the same we are miserable. Most of the time, we end up blaming extraneous reasons for our mistakes and retreat into a shell of self-pity. If”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“I have learnt my lessons. I have realized that the world is real and our existence a necessity. Life and death are certainties and so are all the gamut of emotions that we experience on our journey. The earlier we accept this, the easier would it be to live. One does not learn by moving away. One learns by sticking it out and facing the truth of our fallibilities and that alone is the only way to overcome them”
T
“I stand exorcised of the ghosts of the past,
That haunted and hounded me,
Through the corridors of the path I had tread,
And through the halls of time.”
“For me the human condition is paramount, and asking ‘Why’ is not in my scheme of things. I have learned to accept what life throws at me because I alone can face it. That’s why I do not talk very much about a Creator, God, or a Supreme Being coming down to solve my problems.”
“It is the impact that the poem had on my own thinking process and set the tone for the first and longest story in this book, ‘Autumn Leaves.’ Having seen around me the reality of aging and loneliness predominant, and the younger generation moving still further away and the older ones slowly learning to cope with being by themselves. This story traces the disintegration of families from what was once a joint one with a ruling patriarch and the other members strewn around not far away, to single units ultimately spread out in far and distant lands; the slow but perceptible shifting away in distance and relationships and acceptance of which as a reality was unalterable. The advancement in knowledge and the growth in opportunities away from home, contributing to a more independent individual learning to live life on his own terms, though desirable, has led to the splintering of families and in a sense an inevitable reality of being left alone as one aged.”
― Autumn Leaves : Seasons of Life
“I also liked to sit with a mug of beer in one corner of the room and watch the others. This was for the first time I realized that someone was also watching me. That happens I guess, for when we are bored with ourselves we watch others.”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“The way a person laughs is perhaps the closest indicator to his actual self. “So”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“One finds one’s own answers to the questions in life, if and when they arise. They are as old as you are and that’s why I am slightly surprised at your question. You see I belong to another generation and it has not been easy to shake away all the beliefs that I have grown up with. But in the process I have shed a lot of the baggage of my predecessors and I am sure that my children are doing the same. I am awake to the demands of this changing world and what was God to me must be different now, though the basic questions of life will remain. You will find your own God and give him a new form. But why did you suddenly ask me this question?” “Sir,”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“It was strange but the name’s origin lies in a dream I had, the only thing of which I remember is of a woman who appears therein and when I ask her name, she replies ‘Amora.’ I do not know whether my subconscious was at work or whether hidden infatuations had surfaced.”
― Autumn Leaves : Seasons of Life
“it is only the level of acceptance in a relationship that is a true indicator of its strength and determines its longevity. We have accepted and respected each other’s space and worked together for the welfare of the children and that’s how the family stays as a family. Compromise really does not work, for like a truce, it is a temporary call to end hostilities. It could break down any moment.”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“As I watched him get into his car and drive away I was reminded of my own self thirty- five years ago when such questions on relationships and the uncertainty in our lives had also haunted me. But I had found answers for myself.”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“Looking back, I suspect a number of them did last as there was no other option. But whether then or now, it has always been the absence of empathy; insensitivity on the part of one and a weakness on the part of the other to recognize emotional and physical needs of each other that has been the reason for conflicts in a relationship.”
― Darkness and Beyond: A Medley of Many Lives
“As you grow older you come to appreciate those little things and laugh at your own idiosyncrasies. It is when you are able to do this, you move towards a total acceptance of the person that you are and life becomes easier and comfortable. Your relationships become genuine, for you do not hide much.”
It is very difficult to accept one’s own mortality. But that is the truth, one day we shall cease to be. I have never believed in divine interventions or an afterlife, for these only tend to distract you from the present reality – that we live and should every moment be aware that life is what you make of it. Though I have never been religious and do not look at the scriptures or the rituals as that ordained by a supreme being who sits in judgment over our actions, Karma Yoga appeals to me for it is a path of selfless action. I look at Krishna as an evolved being not as a God who through his Gita tried to tell us that one has to face the results of one’s actions. Buddha was a wise man who learned to cope with the miseries of the world and prescribed a path for the rightful conduct of one’s life and ending one’s suffering. While one was God the other was the Enlightened One. Both of them placed before you the promise of a better afterlife for rightful actions in this life. I have had a fair share of experiences in this life to make me realize that it is only compassion and empathy that ultimately leads one to fulfillment. I am not a scholar or have an in-depth knowledge of the scriptures and can never enter into a debate as to what is right and what is wrong. It is futile, for everyone looks at the world from his own view. We spend most of our life debating whether the world is because of divine intervention or just an accident. Understanding the world requires one to set aside prejudices and stop being judgmental.
Autumn Leaves, Enigma (this is the philosophy of life expressed by the main character Atulya in Enigma the third story of the book)
