SISYPHUS AND I
I sat under
the shade of the banyan tree gazing at the lone figure rolling a rock up the
hill. The sun was blazing hot and I was the only human in sight other than the
figure which was now halfway up the hill. When at last he reached what appeared
to be his destination, after a few hours, he paused, as if the task had been
accomplished. All the while I sat in the shade watching, wondering what would
happen. It was not only curiosity on my part but it was also a welcome escape
from the boredom which had engulfed me. He had been there for only a few
minutes when the rock started rolling down and came to rest at the bottom of
the hill to the place where it had originally lain. I saw him walking down the
hill following the path that the rock had taken. Still, I sat, not moving, more
out of lethargy and listlessness.
I perked up
as soon as I saw him come down and walk towards the stone. I knew that he would
once again start rolling it up the hill for I had watched the same exercise
being repeated over and again for a considerable period of time now, from dawn
till noon, and I guess I felt more exhausted than the subject who was under my
observation. Out of sheer exasperation and as beads of perspiration trickled
down my face, I decided to accost him.
“Hello,” I called out.
For a minute
he seemed perplexed and stopped in his tracks. He then slowly turned towards
me.
“Who are you?”
he asked, annoyed at my intrusion.
“I am sorry.
I have been here, sitting under the shade of that banyan tree since morning and
my attention was drawn to your seemingly endless motion,” I replied.
“You still
haven’t told me who you are. Have you been sent by the Gods to spy on me? In
that case, God help you,” he threatened.
“No, no, no!”
I cried out, “in fact, I am just an ordinary man and am on a journey to
understand the meaning of life. Seeing you has made me wonder as to whether
this is what life is all about.”
“Ha, ha, ha!
You are a fool if that is what you are searching for. I don’t mean to be harsh,
but that is the truth,” he replied, a hint of arrogance in his demeanor.
“Sorry, but
can I talk to you? Hope you have some time to spare?” I asked.
“Strictly
speaking, no. I guess I can spare some time for you since you seem to have been
waiting here for quite a while. Whatever you have to say, make it quick. I have
to get back to my work soon. But first tell me who are you?” he asked.
“I told you
that I am just an ordinary man. For the moment I think that would suffice as I
do not have anything great to talk about myself. You can say I am a
representative of the majority of the people living in this world. But I am
curious. Who are you?” I asked after mustering up enough courage. Despite the fact
that he was tall, muscular, handsome, and reminded me of the sculptures of the
Greek Gods, there was something intimidating about him, a pent-up fury in his
eyes.
He looked at
me with an amused look and said “I really don’t know how that is going to solve
your problem. But since you seem so persuasive, I will tell you. My name is
Sisyphus”.
“Sisyphus? I
have heard that name before. Oh yes, now I remember. When I was reading stories
from Greek mythology, I did come across a character named Sisyphus. Maybe you
were named after him,” I said.
“What do you
mean named after him? I am he, I am that Sisyphus,” he replied with a hint of
irritation creeping into his voice.
“Sorry, I
didn’t mean to offend you. But how is it possible? If what you say is true,
then you must be at least five thousand years old,” I said.
“How does it matter
whether I am a thousand years or just a day old? Isn’t it all the same?”
“I am just
curious, since it’s midday and you do not appear to slacken and stop this
senseless exercise,” I said.
“You find my
actions absurd?” he retorted.
“No, no. Not
like that. You seem to be repeating the same thing over and over again,” I
said.
“The sun and
the moon have been doing the same thing day in and day out, ever since this
world came into existence. So, what’s the big deal? My actions are similar to
what they have been doing”.
“But they are
heavenly bodies and not subject to our laws. You are still a human being, I
presume.”
“Heaven and
Hell, I have seen them all. They are no different from this world. And the
Gods, they are no different from the human. They get angry and curse you if you
go against their wishes and try to exercise your freewill. They reward you when
you appease them through offerings by way of gold and sacrifice. Tell me how
different is it from what you have here? But you see over the course of time I
have gotten used to this routine. Now it does not affect me,” he replied.
“I don’t
believe that. There must have been times when you had questioned the futility
of your actions?” I asked.
There was a
prolonged silence, I waited. I could see that he was in deep thought. I was
sure that something disturbed him.
Breaking the
silence, Sisyphus said “Initially I did not mind it. Of late I have wondered
what was the purpose of all this. But the reality dawned on me that I did not
have a choice as I had been punished by the Gods,” he replied.
“But don’t
you realize that you are now an immortal and cannot die? Well, that must have
banished all the fear of death,” I said.
He gave me a
curious look and then laughed, and asked “Don’t you want to be an immortal
also?”
I was caught
off guard. I had never dwelt on the subject of immortality before. I was
puzzled by the suddenness of his question and stared at him.
“Well take it
from me, you are better off as you are. But tell me how you live, and what is
it that you look forward to? We can then talk of immortality,” he said.
“Like any
other human being in this world. I do my duties,” I replied.
“And what
might they be?” Sisyphus continued.
“Well I look
after my family, earn my living and father children. Of course, I want to
achieve something and be somebody of consequence,” I replied.
“And why
should that be?” he pursued relentlessly.
“I want my
existence to mean something, something authentic,” I replied again.
“And do you
think you have achieved something, and do you believe that you have enough time
to achieve all that you want to? Do you have a goal?” he asked.
“I really
don’t know. Every time I achieve something, it fades away, and I relentlessly
chase other goals.”
“Let me ask
you what your typical day is like?”
“That’s not
really a question. I get up in the morning when the sun rises, have my
breakfast, go to my place of work, have lunch, come back, relax, have dinner
and then go to sleep as the night settles down,” I replied.
“And you want
to carry on doing this endlessly?” he asked again.
“What else?
Is there really a choice? These are the basic actions to keep us living,” I
replied.
“Do you think
there will be an end to this? I guess that you will grow old, maybe sickness
strikes you, and one day your life comes to end. You die.”
“Yes, I guess
that is what will happen?”
“Then why did
you break the routine and come all this way and sit under the banyan tree? Is
it because you found that it was absurd to carry on like this?” he asked.
“Yes, it is
something like that,” I answered.
Suddenly he
laughed and said “I know you are puzzled. You really do not know what it is to
be an immortal. Believe me, immortality is a curse,” he said.
“But tell me
truthfully, why did you have to leave a life you were leading and come over
here, sit under that tree, doing nothing? I cannot understand. Were you also
cursed by the Gods?” he continued.
“No, no, our
Gods do not curse nor bless. They just watch the fun. You see if we ask them a
question, they say that the answers have all been laid down in the scriptures
and it’s our lookout how we interpret and live. In that sense, they do not
interfere like your Gods. There are many others like me. Day in and day out we
have been reduced to doing the same thing,” I replied.
He laughed
again and this time louder. It echoed around all the rocks and hillocks
surrounding us.
“So, your
state is no different than mine. Then why did you call mine a senseless
exercise?”
“I did say
that, yes. And as I speak to you now, I am more convinced that it is so. You
see yours is a futile exercise and there does not seem to be any end to your
state of being. You do not have an option. For me, though my present condition
is absurd, it cannot last forever since as mortals we die. We have a choice,” I
said.
“You mean to
say that as a mortal, you have a choice and as an immortal, I do not,” he
asked.
“Exactly”.
“You mean
there is no redemption for me?” he asked. His tone betraying an inkling of
self-doubt.
“That depends
on you. As long as you believe you are an immortal there is no redemption. In
your own words, you said ‘Immortality is a curse’. Now looking at you I believe
it is indeed so. But I believe that you can still beat it,” I said.
“And how is
that?”
“A wise man
once told me that when you are faced with the absurdity of life there are only
two options. You end your life by committing suicide or rebel against the
forces that seek to control you. His idea of the rebel is one who searches for
order and clarity, and in the process comes into conflict with the universe.
Maybe it is this conflict which would take him nearer to understanding this
life. But I guess you do not have the option of ending your life since you are
an immortal,” I said.
“So, you want
me to stop what I have been doing all this while and go and sit under the tree
and contemplate? Zeus will be enraged and punish me again, maybe something
worse,” he replied.
“Does it
really matter? You would make him sit up and take notice of what’s happening.
Maybe he is waiting for you to think. In any case, something will happen, and
that is better than continue in the state you exist now, till eternity.”
He remained
silent and looked around him, maybe for the first time. I knew he was confused.
For the first time since I came to sit under the banyan tree and then talk to
Sisyphus, I saw the inklings of clarity dawn on me. Immortality was not unending
existence, being exempt from death, but ultimately accepting one’s mortality
and transcending death through an authentic and meaningful existence.
This was what
I was waiting for. I decided that I should leave him to his thoughts which had
for the first time occurred to him since he started rolling the rock up the hill.
“Is life
really meaningless?” he asked me.
“It’s for you
to find out. Now I shall leave.”
As I started
walking back, I turned to look at him one last time. There he was sitting under
the banyan tree and looking towards the top of the hill. Maybe contemplating on
ways to overcome his predicament. Maybe it was for the first time he had moved
away from the rock, lightening the burden he had been carrying for so long. I
was sure he would find a solution.
I had found
mine.
Image courtesy - sisyphus by thechewu watch digital art mixed media fantasy sisyphus
